I was going to wait until Yearly Kos to divulge this, but our very survival as a progressive website is at stake and I cannot wait any longer. A comprehensive study of our mojo system has provided convincing evidence that Islamofascists and Islamofascist sympathizers have infiltrated Daily Kos.
I have in my hand right now a list of 278 Islamofascists currently active here. Some of these covert Islamofascists are front pagers. Some of them are on the Recommended Diary list with great frequency. Some of them get major mojo all over the place for insightful, informative and well-timed comments like: "Great Diary! n/t".
Have you ever wondered why this mojo system was implemented? What purpose does it serve? What is this mojo really used for? Where does it go? Who is tracking this marathon race for mojo? Where is the finish line? Is there a finish line at all, or have we all been lured onto a Mojo Bridge to Nowhere?
I am only beginning to unravel this mojo plot, it is exceedingly complex, but every implication is nefarious. Is our mojo being converted into support for Islamofascism through some sinister mojo laundering system? Is this mojo system a devious Islamofascist scheme to undermine the sanctity of marriage in America and limit our opportunities to reproduce?
It's limiting the daylights out of mine, I'll tell you that right now. I used to get 3 or 4 opportunities every year, but now I chase mojo instead, with repercussions I cannot elaborate about on a family blog like this one. The only positive aspect I've detected about mojo is that whenever someone puts a tip in a Kos diarist's tip jar, Monica Goodling experiences cramps and bloating.
But I digress . . .
Have you ever compared your mojo-influenced behavior here on Daily Kos to your behavior at home? When’s the last time you told your spouse, "Great comment, right on target!" How many times have you told your wife, "That’s the best Honey Do list I’ve ever read!" Have you ever told your husband or boyfriend, "That was SO good! I'd ____ you a hundred times if I could!!!"
I haven’t gotten around to formulating any solutions, I’ve been busy hunting down Islamofascists, but I’m imploring everyone here to wake up before it’s too late. This mojo system is undermining our relationships at home and plunging progressive birth rates into alarming decline. Meanwhile, wingnuts are reproducing at a frenzied pace while we collect mojo, and spend hours every day and night with our hands on our mouses instead of our spouses.
One of the most insidious subversions being planned by these shadowy Islamofascists among us is the luring of America’s most dedicated progressives to Yearly Kos in Chicago. How many tempting, dark-eyed, home-wrecking virgins women will be there with sultry smiles and open arms, eager to ply unsuspecting progressive men with alcohol? How many of their victims will wake up in an Islamofascist safehouse in Skokie with a hangover and a compulsion to blow up O'Hare and half of ChicagoLand along with it?
Not even one, if this diary is heeded. OK, probably three or four hundred, but they can't say they weren't warned.
I haven't found out yet which hotel these tantalizing but lethal Islamofascist vixens will be staying at, but I will. Thread info on this would be appreciated, Islamofascists of the female gender are particularly elusive subversionist subverters and I could use some help foiling their fiendish plans.
Tragically, many of us are still in denial about this Islamofascist subversion going on right in front of our eyes. I know who you are, Islamofascists, so if you think you’re fooling me, think again. Just to prove I know what I'm talking about, I'm going to expose the identities of five of you right now, beginning with two front page Islamofascists who have been here since . . . . . . . . . . . arrghhh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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