Call Chairman Conyers about Impeachment, he's been waiting to hear from you. I don't care where you call him from, but I have a few suggestions. I politely encourage you to get out of Washington D.C. more often, you've been there for twenty years, and your long residence in that twilight zone of truthiness and treachery seems to have significantly impaired your ability to remember who you are supposed to be representing.
Speaker Pelosi, if you had personally experienced the horrors inflicted on the victims of seven years of Bush/Cheney crimes, you'd have started Impeachment on Day 1 of the 110th Congress. But you haven't experienced even a fleeting second of that horror, have you.
Well it's long past time you did, even if it's only in the diary of a lowly blogger like me with an anger management problem and fading faith in the political party I have supported ever since I knocked on doors for Gene McCarthy in 1968. It's time for you to knock on some doors, Speaker Pelosi. I suggest you start by knocking on the door of a secret CIA prison in Uzbekistan, and bring a cell phone with you, you're going to need it . . .
Knock on that door, Speaker Pelosi. Get yourself waterboarded five or six times, sit naked and shivering in a cold cell for a few days, experience some of those enhanced interrogation techniques Gonzo is so proud of. Then give Chairman Conyers a call. Maybe you'll finally figure out what you need to tell him.
Or fly to Iraq and call him from a Baghdad morgue. No need to be choosy, just pick one, after four years of carnage they all look pretty much the same. Maybe a whiff of the decaying corpses of several hundred slaughtered men, women, and children will finally force the word "Impeach" from your lips.
As long as you're over there in liberated Iraq, you might as well haul your Impeachment is Off the Table derriere to Abu Ghraib. Have some electrodes attached to your manicured fingertips, grab a hood, fasten it securely over your head, stumble up onto a box, and electric shock yourself into giving Chairman Conyers a call. I think this would be a learning experience you could benefit from.
Or find a nice orange outfit to wear, go to Guantanamo, and sit in a cage for a few weeks. I'm sure you could find some way to pass the time. You could sing "America the Beautiful" to your fellow inmates and the guard dogs could bark and growl along on the chorus. When your audience wipes tears of admiration from their eyes and the appreciative applause for America finally fades, give Chairman Conyers a call.
Or take a stroll over to Building 18 at Walter Reed. Hand your Speaker's gavel to the nearest cockroach, empty a bedpan or two for the quadriplegics, ask their sobbing wives how things are going, and then give Chairman Conyers a call.
Or go to Dover Air Force Base and call him from there. You might want to help carry a few flag-draped coffins out of cargo planes first though, just consider it a last gesture of Democratic support for the soldiers you promised to bring home, but didn't because the Commander Guy would have thrown a hissy fit.
Or call Chairman Conyers from the National Archives. They have a God damn piece of paper there that used to be respected, honored and enforced. You seem to have forgotten it still exists, so take a good look at it. Have one of the tour guides explain what it says to you, borrow a quarter from someone, and give Chairman Conyers a call.
Or spend a month in the scorching heat of a Crawford, Texas field and then call him. Ponder what it must feel like to have to bury your son because a smirking warmonger and his sneering warmonger accomplice don't give a damn about anything but controlling oilfields and war profiteering. Leave your fancy wardrobe and cosmetics back in Washington, but bring your conscience with you. If you can find it.
Or arrange a fact-finding junket to what's left of the 9th Ward in New Orleans. Find a survivor and have one of your staffers take some notes. Finding out what it feels like to be left behind to die by your own government would be a heckuva fact-finding experience for you. Then make a heckuva phone call to Chairman Conyers.
Or call him from a polling place in Ohio. But wait outside for nine hours first, maybe that'll put you in the proper frame of mind. You might want to bring along several forms of ID in case a pasty-faced Republican lawyer challenges you to prove you're not a subversive, God and America hating traitor.
Or call him from the Department of Justice Purges. Head for Gonzo's office and take a good look at that lying, conspiring US attorney firing serial felon. Compared to Abu Gonzalez, John Mitchell and Ed Meese were saintly paragons of virtue, so maybe you should call Chairman Conyers before the whole damn building needs to be fumigated, razed to the ground, and quarantined for fifty years.
Or drop by the home of a trembling PTSD victim. He can tell you about his nightmares and flashbacks and you can tell him about all those boring fund-raising dinners and interviews with basement-dwelling bloggers you've had to endure. When he gives you a five-second time line to get the hell out of his house, don't let the door hit you on your way out, go find a pay phone right away, and give Chairman Conyers a call.
Or go visit a 1st grade classroom, you can stare into space for seven minutes while 6-year-old Americans take turns telling you how to pronounce that complicated two-syllable word I-M-P-E-A-C-H.
.
Then give Chairman Conyers a call.
If you aren't going to pick up a phone and call Chairman Conyers, we'll keep picking up our phones to call you. We're going to show you what a SURGE in defense of democracy here in America looks like. We're going to make you finally understand that we need to get rid of these fanatic dead enders in the White House once and for all.
Please call Speaker Pelosi's office (202) 225-4965 or her San Francisco office: (415) 556-4862.
Tell her that Democrats must unify in support of the Impeachment Resolution against Richard Bruce Cheney. He is still at large and extremely dangerous.
Do it, Democrats.
The Constitution demands it of you.
In addition to calling Speaker Pelosi, I hope everyone will watch this Iraq Moratorium video by WatchtheSkies and sign the Iraq Moratorium Pledge.
Another World Is Possible. A much better world. Good people at the USSF in Atlanta are working their hearts out to make it happen, and deserve all the help and support we can give them.